The Universe Doesn’t Owe You Shit & 5 Tips To Not Be An Entitled B.
Adjective “Believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.”
Not too long ago I was in the waiting room at the veterinarians office with my little pup and we were having a rough time. She was refusing to eat, refusing to get out of bed and her actions were proving more and more dire each day. We treated her for anything we suspected could be wrong. Blood work, ex rays, ultrasounds, medicine and even surgery.
A lot of time, sweat, tears and money went into trying to save her. We’re in the waiting room, she’s coiled up, clinging to life in a tiny blanket in my lap and I notice this guy sitting next to me with his little dachshund. They are done but waiting to pay. I can sensed his anxious energy and his tension was rising by the minute. I thought maybe his dog was really sick too.
His dog was fine, it was the only dog in the waiting room healthy enough to be bouncing around. They called him up and went over the charges. He freaked. “Is this after Trupanion?!” (pet insurance) He demanded. Turns out it wasn’t and the receptionist apologized and asked for another minute cause she had to get a manager to reverse the fees. Oh my, he was SO mad. I could almost literally see smoke coming out of his ears.
He sat down, in a huff, muttering all sorts of passive comments under his breath. He was so put out, he had to get up and go outside for a minute. All the while muttering and shuffling on his way out. It was ridiculous. It was so ridiculous his dog looked at me on the way out and in his eyes, I know he apologized. In reality He knew his owner was a dipshit (dogs always know) He came in filling the room with shitty energy and cigarette smoke. It took 2 minutes to get him checked out. Of course he grumbled all the way out the door.
The unthinkable happened and my sweet girl didn’t make it too much longer after that day. And all I could think whilst listening to him that day was “how dare you.” How dare him take for granted all of the things we have; proper medical care, air-conditioned, sanitized health care facilities, shit like dog insurance. All of the resources that we have is nothing short of luxury.
Nothing makes me cringe more than when I hear the phrase “I deserve this.”
We don’t all need rewards for being decent humans.
We are all so lucky, and have many things to be grateful for. Anybody who has ever struggled, or worked (everyone) or explored other countries probably has an idea of how lucky we truly are.
As I get older, I see that when my energy goes elsewhere the more complete I feel.
Of course I believe in self-care and nourishment, but it’s what you do after that, that really contributes to your personal development.
Throughout my life, I could have been more thankful; I didn’t put a lot of thought into how easy things truly were. Rather than being grateful I had a job I would complain about going to work. Rather than being thankful that my body was healthy and capable, I would complain about going to the gym. All of these things we think we should do are representatives of things we should be thankful that we are able to do.
Sometimes it takes a little meditation, other times it involves a perspective change, but I’ve found that the minute you realize you are not owed anything in this world, the happier you will be. I promise.
We simply cannot “pay it forward” by gracing others’ with our presence. I’m sorry, but nobody is that cool and that is not the currency of the universe.
Having a sense of entitlement ultimately negatively affects our energetic frequencies. As we know, everything is energy. Our bodies, emotions and thoughts, all emit an energetic frequency. Simply put, entitlement emits a negative energetic frequency. This isn’t a post on the law of attraction but to boil it down, when you’re putting out shitty energy, you’ll get shit in return. Maybe not right away, but it will happen.
To me, entitlement boils down to three root personality traits; narcissism, ignorance, and judgmental.
Narcissism is gross. It’s an ugly, ugly trait. Narcissism is the inability to think past oneself. Narcissism is ego. Straight up.
It implies the narcissist is more important, more deserving and above others. When someone is entitled they are exhibiting traits of narcissism. Narcissists believe the rules do not apply to them.
Essentially, they have created a hierarchy and went ahead and put themselves at the top. The end goal for a narcissist is to serve themselves and to use others to serve themselves. They have no problems delegating tasks to other people, but when it comes time to help others: they don’t have time. And, if they do happen to do something for another person? They make sure EVERYONE knows about it. In detail. The end goal for narcissists is all about the benefit to themselves. How it will serve them, make their life easier or make them look better. Ewe.
When I say ignorance, what I really mean is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is a highly understated quality. Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage and label your emotions as well as others’ emotions.
EI is also the ability to think past oneself, but in a different way. It requires being compassionate and empathetic. It’s being around a person and sensing they are stressed, so maybe now is not the time to ask them for a favor. Maybe they need to talk or maybe they need a friend to hold space in that moment. Emotional intelligence means you can sense where people are at emotionally. When an entitled person lacks emotional intelligence it’s messy, because when everything revolves them, if something doesn’t go right, then it morphs into a personal attack. An entitled person may get the sense that it may not be the right time to ask a friend for a favor, they do it anyways because after all, their needs are more important.
Lastly, an entitled person is judgmental. After all that energy put forth putting themselves at the top of the list and justifying it, they must then size everyone else up to make sure they remain at the top. This is how they consistently justify being a selfish joker. And because the thoughts circling their heads are mostly surface and material stuff, of course that’s how they judge others. Women tend to size each other up by what their wearing, skin care regime (theirs is better!) or how often they get their nails done. For men, it’s if they appear stronger or are wealthy. If they have abs or a nice watch. This shit is such a waste of energy.
This is not how we make friends.
One of my favorite Ted Talks is called “Entitlement is a stinky cologne” by Elias Cairo and if you haven’t listened to it, do yourself a favor and listen to it. I love this; not only does Elias describe so many characteristics of entitlement but he also paints this beautiful picture of what it’s like to work hard and to be truly be grateful for everything you have. It’s beautiful. And funny, go listen to it. Link below.
If you feel like you may fall into some of these characteristics and now you’re nervous that someone might call you out on your shit. It really just comes down to awareness.
Awareness equals mindfulness and eventually mindfulness will boil down into being gratefulness. These are key qualities to living a full beautiful life.
5 Tips to Not Be An Entitled B.
- Be mindful of your surroundings. Chances are, it’s more beautiful than you think, you’ve just overlooked it.
- Be grateful for your resources and understand it’s ok to not “have it all figured out.”
- Reflect. Take a moment every day to reflect on all you have. It’s more than some, less than others and it will always be that way.
- Write it out. Next time you have a moment where you feel yourself start to spiral. Comparing others, negative judgements. Stop and write down the first ten things you think of when you think “what am I grateful for?”
- Understand that in the grand scheme of things, only few things matter. And comparing yourself to someones curated existence on social media is not one of them.
An evolved person is not entitled. They understand that different people are in different places and it’s ALL beautiful. They don’t need to compare or judge or “make sure they come out on top.” They understand that there is enough light and energy and abundance and joy to go around. They’ve evolved past wasting time and energy on things that don’t matter and that the true meaning of helping themselves is found in helping others.
What am I grateful for today?
How can I express support to others?
What truly matters to me in this moment?
“I have everything that I need.”
“I am my own person, with my own hopes, dreams and desires.”
“I am enough.”